Mixing Masturbation Sex & Partnered Sex

If you think masturbation is a solo pleasure, you're not entirely wrong, but masturbation does not always have to be performed alone. If you are in a relationship, you might consider adding masturbation to sexual activities with your partner to help strengthen the connection you feel with one another. There are many ways in which this (normally considered) solo act could build better relationships and new, exciting experiences. Let's explore masturbation as a partnered activity.

Brigitte Werner courtesy of pexels

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Does It Feel Different?

Craig Adderley courtesy of pexels

There are those who may be thinking that masturbating in front of your partner could feel a bit awkward. While this may be true for some at first, remember it's not just anyone you are masturbating in front of, this person is most likely your closest friend, soulmate, or confidant. This may be the one person you can confidently be vulnerable with who won't judge you or hurt your feelings. However, it may be best to have a heart-to-heart conversation with that person first and discuss what you wish to do, how it may enhance the relationship, and possibly bring you closer together. After all, masturbation is normal and has so many benefits. And you never know, they may be up for it, or they may even have been thinking about the same thing as well! 


Will This Affect My Masturbation Sex Life?

Tan Dahn courtesy of pexels

If you are someone who still enjoys the act of solo masturbation, you may be concerned that the act of masturbation as part of sex with your partner may somehow interfere with your enjoyment to masturbate solo later on.  After all, you are letting another person in on your private pleasure and your private orgasms. For example, during your solo masturbation, you may perhaps fantasize about a person you know, or possibly someone whom you do not normally interact with in your daily life, or even view pornography while self-stimulating, which you probably would not do during partnered masturbation or sex.

But masturbation with your partner does not necessarily mean that your solo masturbation sessions are affected.  There are obvious contrasts between solo and partnered masturbation, especially since you are in the physical presence of someone else during partnered play. Your private time can always be separated mentally. One big difference is your focus of arousal. Being with your partner, they are most likely the focus of your arousal, just like you are the focus of theirs. To put it in a different perspective, perhaps there are times when you can enjoy a perfectly good meal alone focusing on the food and then there are times when you can enjoy a great meal together with someone else. Both meals are great, and the sense of satisfaction is there either way. Perhaps during a meal alone, though, your senses are more focused on the tastes and smells of the food and the ambience of the restaurant, and when having a meal with a partner, you are more sensitive to the conversations and feelings being brought up with the interaction, as well as the quality of the food and atmosphere.  Neither meal takes anything away from the other. Sometimes it’s a great experience being alone, and sometimes it’s gratifying to share.  In either situation, you are able to enjoy.  

Some people masturbate alone, some people both masturbate alone and have partnered sex, and other people do all three: masturbate alone, masturbate with their partner and have partnered sex. Creating a third option for pleasure can open up new possibilities to feel more freedom to satisfy yourself, to satisfy your partner and to open up more to each other. So long as you and your partner both consent to the exploration of something new, this could actually make the relationship grow, through greater mutual understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes, appetites for new styles, methods of arousal, etc. So fear not, go forth and have fun!

 

Masturbation As Foreplay

Avelino Calvar Martinez courtesy of Burst by Shopify

A lot of times people use pornography to get aroused by seeing someone else in a state of ecstasy. It gets them “turned on". But in place of two dimensional media, being with a live person can be just as stimulating, if not more. And masturbating in front of your partner does not have to mean having an orgasm immediately, either. It could be the lead-in to more partnered play.  Your partner, seeing you in such an aroused state could make them (and you) more aroused. Single play could lead to assisted partnered play and much more. You could be in for some of the best foreplay you both have ever experienced! If you feel like you are stuck in the same foreplay routine, or just want to try finding new ways of pleasing each other, masturbation as part of foreplay can possibly spice up bedroom activities!

 

 

Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine

Dainis Graveris courtesy of pexels

Masturbating with your partner can be a way to really get to know your partner's hot spots, what turns them on, how slow/how fast you should go, and more. You are sharing with your partner some of your most intimate secrets on pleasure and that's something that will benefit your sex life now and in the future! As experiences and fond memories (and maybe even some naughty ones!) of your partnered experiences grow, you can look back on them and see how you and your partner have become closer to each other. You can even incorporate long distance masturbation into your relationship if you or your partner travel a lot for work!


Begin With the Basics, Or Try Something New

Dainis Graveris courtesy of pexels

 There are many types and styles of sexual aids that can help make the experience more exciting and memorable.  If at first you may be a bit apprehensive about trying out the experience with your partner, but still want to give it a shot, you might want to look into some disposable varieties of toys that would fit anyone’s budget. TENGA has a great line of disposable pleasure products to choose from, like our legendary TENGA CUP Series, or the small, yet very versatile EGGs. Or you may want to take a look at something more longer lasting and reusable, like our FLIP ZERO Series. And for some partnered fun, explore our  SVR Series for shared vibrational pleasure. 


Summary

photo courtesy of pixabay

 There probably aren't many things more private and personal than masturbation. Sharing the experience with another can be scary and can make you feel very vulnerable, even embarrassed in the beginning. But with the right person to share it with, it can be exciting, meaningful and even deepen your relationship with your partner. Having the right tools for the job doesn’t hurt either!

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