Phone Sex Tips to Keep Your Long Distance Relationship Kicking

If you are in a long distance relationship, hearing your partner’s voice takes on a different meaning than it may have once had. What may have been considered “awkward” or “too kinky” like phone sex has become a valid way to stay intimate with your partner despite the distance. With the state of the world since Covid-19, the rise of modern communication tools such as Zoom and FaceTime, and innovations in sexual health and wellness, there have never been more options to keep your relationship fresh no matter where in the world you may be.

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History of Long Distance Correspondence

 Long distance relationships have existed long before phones were invented. In the mid to late 18th century, wives of British naval officers, known as shore wives, often went without seeing their husbands for months, even years at a time. For these couples, the main method of communication was through letter writing. At the time, even on land, a variety of factors came into play when determining how long it took for a letter to reach its recipient. This was only magnified when sending letters to naval officers who were out at sea, where their location could change abruptly due to factors out of their control, like weather conditions and sickness.

Since delivering letters was both difficult and irregular, wives often would be notified at the last minute when their partner’s travel plans changed. As you can imagine, this absence surely made their hearts grow fonder, and stirred their desires of intimacy. 

Fast forward to today, and the pandemic has propelled couples into long distance relationships, unsure of when they will reunite next. We shouldn’t take for granted the possibilities of modern technology, including phone sex and sexting, to bring partners closer together even if they are on opposite sides of the globe.

Venturing into Phone Sex

If it’s been a while since you’ve had a real conversation over the phone, especially a call from your partner, phone sex may sound like a completely outdated term straight from a 90’s romcom. In an age where text based communication and “sexting” is the norm, some may even feel hesitant or anxious when talking to their partner over the phone, even if only about everyday tasks like errands or household chores.

In a long distance relationship, phone sex can be one way to keep the spark between you and your partner lit when physical contact is not on the table. According to certified dating expert Jonathan Bennet, “Maintaining some kind of sexual contact…it can keep the romantic side of your relationship alive while separated…[phone sex] can provide needed stress relief to help with the difficulties that can occur during physical separation." Distance and lack of intimacy are some of the main reasons that long distance relationships tend to fail. As such, it is important to try incorporating ways to keep the intimacy alive despite not being physically present. For those deciding to dip their toes into phone sex, we thought we might offer a few tips to help you along your journey:

  • Set the scene. Preparation is key when it comes to having a successful phone sex session. Dim the lights, set up some candles, and play some of your favorite music to ensure you are in the right headspace.
  • Slow it down. Rather than jumping right into it, take time to relax and connect with your partner. This slow build up makes phone sex not as daunting and will only deepen your experience.
  • Ask questions. Asking questions about past sexual experiences or your partner's fantasies is a great way to initiate a steamy phone sex session. 

Having phone sex is one way to encourage clear sexual communication and may even be the key to making sex even more pleasurable once back in the bedroom with your partner. In fact, in a 2022 study it was found that people in monogamous relationships who engaged in phone sex and sexting recorded higher overall scores of sexual satisfaction in their relationship. Additionally, your tone of voice is better able to convey your sexual desire than through text, and can be a big turn on for your partner. With all these positives, why not give phone sex a try?

Mutual Masturbation Tips

Mutual masturbation and phone sex go hand in hand. As stressed above, when in a long distance relationship, it’s essential to maintain a sexual relationship. Mutual masturbation is one of the most underrated sexual activities, and for long distance couples it is a great way to stay intimate with your partner despite the distance.

If you are hesitant to add mutual masturbation to phone sex with your partner, it is important to remember that the goal of mutual masturbation does not have be as lofty as simultaneous orgasms. If you are nervous, you don’t even have to start talking about sex. Communicating your dreams, ideas, excitement for the future, and what you love about your partner is a good place to start, before moving on to steamier subjects when you feel more comfortable.

Once you’ve gotten comfortable, you can try adding sex toys into your mutual masturbation sessions. Over the past couple of years, more and more partners have been introducing sex toys into the bedroom, especially those who are in long distance relationships. As a result, new technology has been developed for sex toys to meet the needs of long distance partners. Some sex toys can even be remotely controlled, allowing you to control the device for your partner and vice versa.

Trying Something New

As mentioned above, thanks to advances in technology and changes in relationships due to the pandemic, there are plenty of options to remain intimate despite any kind of distance barrier between you and your partner.

If time zones are an issue, you can try sexting with your partner; sending a message or video for them to see by the time they wake up or go to sleep. Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime can also add a much needed visual element when both of your schedules align.

Adding sex toys to any of the above communication methods is a sure way to add excitement to phone sex. The TENGA SVR (Smart Vibe Ring) is originally designed for couples to use, it features a rumble-strong, whisper quiet vibrator housed in a soft and stretchy ring for a natural fit. You can also use this toy for masturbation by attaching it to your fingers to create a stimulating touch. While on the phone, you and your partner can match each other by using the same vibration pattern or strength.

Summary

Distance from your partner is understandably difficult. People have been in long distance relationships since long before any sort of modern electronic technology was invented. Luckily for us, with the invention of smartphones, video messaging, and new advances in sex toy technology, being in a long distance relationship is not as hard as it used to be. If you are in a long distance relationship, try incorporating some of the tips above such as phone sex, sexting, and mutual masturbation.

Be sure to check out our other article to learn more about how mutual masturbation can improve your long distance relationship.

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